The Martha Stewart Gene ( Male version)

My girl is fried country crock She robs gas station Quick Stops In a tube top, shorts, an’ work boots She’s a regular on Cops I miss her so when she’s in jail it depresses me (that’s her officer, 3rd. from the right) But I have a ball on conjugal calls when I hear her scream (EEE- come here you son of a gun… where’s my turkey pot pie) She can wrestle a hog in mud I ain’t talkin’ bout her mama There’s blood hound in her blood She could sniff out Osama Her beard grows natural, she don’t wax dem hedges She ain’t been to beauty school, She don’t know what Pledge is (But she graduated truck school)

CHORUS Hell yeah, she bawdy Her degree’s Mama Cum Laude But I like my sugar raw and unrefined Warm and dirty beats cold and clean Don’t want a domestic queen I’m glad she ain’t got The Martha Stewart Gene It’s a good thing…

I’m the king of our trailer She feeds me like a god Servin’ me burnt offerings I just Pray it ain’t the dog There’s daisies growin’ in the toilets she got from the dump And her uncle is my brother-in-law, looks like Forest Gump (They love chewin’ tobacci together)

CHORUS

(spoken) It’s a good thing there’s no deep end in her gene pool. I ain’t eatin’ what I can’t pronounce Es-Car-What? Spam and beans, that’s who I am. No need to redecorate the trailer Nuthin’ better than my skunk centerpiece, a wedding gift from the taxidermist, my beer cap Elvis figurines, my Dogs Playing Poker velvet picture hangin’ above mama’s autographed bible what she autographed it herself

Chorus Here’s to imperfection These girls ain’t paintin’ their house of corrections Don’t need no high class broad messin’ up their cells Warm and dirty beats cold and clean Who wants a domestic queen? I’m glad they ain’t got, They ain’t somethin’ that they’re not I’m glad my baby ain’t got The Martha Stewart Gene It’s a good thing!